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Life’s Paradox : Paradox of illusion

1) I am working for my family.

2) I am working hard for my family.

3) I am working very hard for me and my family

4) I am working very very hard for me.

Throughout my life, I had always oscillated between the above paradox. It looks like sometimes an illusion and sometimes a paradox impossible to covers both the ends at the same time.

Lets understand the above from a simple example and here who it could be except me as an example. When I started working, I promised to myself that whatever trouble I had seen in my life uptill now, I will achieve sufficient enough so that my future family (my wife and my offspring) will not see those.

So I started working like anyone and everyone. Developed a fire within to succeed at whatever the cost, no matter how the odds are stacked up against me.

But as they say you can change the shape of the metal by molding it into desired shape but you cannot change the nature of the metal. Because of that it seems like after so many years I am back to square one.

Sounds confusing, it is indeed is. Allow me elaborate more on the same.

Lets look at the facts first. If I am a working male then on an average I would be working 9-10 hours a day, 5-6 days a week.

Lets assume safer side and assuming I am working 10 hours a day (including afternoon lunch) and 5 days a week. This is the time when I am away from my family.

Assuming I am travelling 2-3 hours daily commuting form office to my home. I am taking 3 hours ( as there are people who travel upto 4-5 hours daily to and fro) including both travelling in morning and evening.

So now I am left with 24hours – (10hours+3 hours)= 11 hours.

Now if I am an average medium class individual, then I would be sleeping around 7-8 hours daily. Lets assume 7 hours minimum sleep is required.

And total time for getting ready for the office and having breakfast and then having dinner in the night, I am safely assuming 2-3 hours.

Also the total time for recreation i.e. watching Television or internet at home assuming it to be somewhere around 1-2 hours.

Now if I add up all the time consumed uptill now( taking the minimum part)

(10+3+7+2+1)=23 hours.

So daily I am left with 24 minus 23 hours to spend with my family. Here I had taken the least case.

So out of 24 hours I am able to spend only one hour with my family daily.

So lets simplify more on the topic.

Total time spent with my family= 24 hours minus

1) Total time spent in office

2) Total time spent in travelling

3) Total time spent in getting ready, having breakfast and dinner in the evening

4) Total time spent in watching TV or internet at home.

Now some of us may say that we are weekend family type. It means that during the weekend you cease to exists as father, husband to a certain extent. And you take an active role only on weekend.

However there exists another twist in the story. Most of us did work on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays too. But lets not generalize on those ones. Rather focus on those who became active family members on weekends.

Again lets do a simple calculation. We tend to sleep more on weekends i.e. from 8-10 hours minimum. Lets assume 9 hours average on Saturday and Sunday. Then getting up and reading the newspaper till the breakfast table assuming an average of 2 hours at least. Then again travelling at least 1-2 hours for shopping weekly groceries and necessities often accompanied by movie which is again a 3 hours task.

I would like to stop over here and allow you to do the calculations yourself rather than me taking average and concluding something.

But for me the average time spent with my family was not more than 8-10 percent of my time during a particular week. Forget about time spent with friends or close family relatives.

The biggest question which I always keep on asking to myself is if I am working very very hard for my family to provide them with affordability, then is it that they have wanted or they have something else.

When I was studying in my college, for me the quantum of happiness (money required to survive) revolves around INR 2.5 and INR 10. INR 2.5 for the cigarette cost which is my passion now and INR 10 for two egg bhurji or dal and 4 chapati which is a sufficient meal for me.

Still now egg bhurji/dal and chapatti are sufficient for me and cigarette. But now each cigarette cost me INR 7 (brand changed) and simplest dal and chapatti cost me around INR 100.

My nature isn’t changed but the quantum of my spending changed (increased) with certain restrictions and boundations (health and hygenie)

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